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Monday, October 24, 2011

It’s Wonderful – And I Am Stuck Here


Yesterday HB (HoneyBunny) and I were invited to a friend’s home for dinner.  It was wonderful, and that is the problem.  Not the dinner, or the company, but that word…wonderful.  It was stuck in my head and it just kept popping out of my mouth every time I commented on something.  The worst of it was that I knew it was coming and I was helpless to stop it or change to a different word!  Everything was wonderful, just wonderful.

Have you ever gotten stuck on a word and repeated it over and over until you wanted to slap some tape over your mouth to stop it?  The older I get, the more often this seems to happen.  I have been around some elderly people (that would be anyone more than a few years older than me) who have done this, but mostly they were unaware of it.  They just kept on with their stories and didn’t miss a beat, never realizing that they were saying the same word in every sentence.

So, why should I be concerned?  Well, because.  (Sigh!)  Because it makes me conscious of my aging and it scares me that I may one day slip into dementia and never be the wiser.  I worry for those who will take care of me in later years.  They will be the ones who hear me retelling the same stories and using one word to extremes.  They will listen, and smile, and suffer and I will be unaware of the effect I am having on them.  I know firsthand how that feels and it isn’t a good thing.  Both of my parents were diagnosed with and died from complications of Alzheimer’s disease.  It is harder on the family than on the person with the dementia.  I don’t want that to happen to me – or my children, but I doubt I will have much say in the matter.

With that in mind, I would like to let my children know, and those who will one day take care of me, that I appreciate all of the energy, patience, hugs, smiles, and caring that they will give me.  I know the guilt they will feel (oh, yes, sorry to say that is also a part of the process) and the toll it may take on their health and family.  I love them for it now (because I may not be able to express myself so well one day).

For now, though, my life is wonderful, just wonderful! 

5 comments:

  1. Well said.......Wait! Did I say that before?! LOL

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  2. Don't worry about saying the same word too many times. I get on kicks when I say the same word over and over all day, annoying myself. The more I try to stop- the more I keep saying it. Since I am in my 30s- I think it is just something that happens. :) And wonderful isn't a bad word to keep repeating!

    ~Jess
    http://thesecretdmsfilesoffairdaymorrow.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. My mom died of Alzheimers. I know the thought that creeps into the mind, wondering if that dreaded disease has somehow come my way because I forgot where I put something or can't find something I just had in my hand. Blessings, Sandy

    ReplyDelete
  4. In high school, I was constantly reminded that I said "just kidding" a lot at the end of stories or (poorly attempted) jokes. Now we laugh about it, but I surely know what you mean! Actually, Dictionary.com has a fun daily email that you can subscribe for called Word of the Day. It might be neat to help expand your vocabulary, hehe!

    Here is the link: http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/list/

    Blessings,
    Kristina Gulino
    Something 2 Write About

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes! My repeated words are; amazing, awesome and absolutely! Can't stop repeating them over and over, usually during small talk. That is a nice sentiment to your family and/or future caregivers.

    ReplyDelete

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